A Lot Ado About Having Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It’s been a huge few days for homosexual-related very first person narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual publications!

Our basic part comes to you via xojane, the women’s web site headed right up by Jane Pratt (my character)

(I’m significant) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Titled ”
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this portion belongs to the “it simply happened in my experience” function which existed at JANE mag and consists largely of writer/reader-submitted accounts of subjectively fascinating personal encounters.

The private composer of this piece, whom we’ll call “Ariel,” is bisexual, but because she easily provides strike tasks to her male lovers but doesn’t day or often decrease on ladies, she’s, she explains, theoretically, only a ”

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.” (She also identifies by herself as “mostly straight” and “directly” at various other factors in narrative.) Her reputation began, she explains, whenever the woman first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke known as Kelly at her school — took place on her for an hour or so. She la-la-la-loved it and then instantly fled the scene fearing her very own incapacity to do such fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a protracted period of time.

She writes:

“obviously, word had gotten around that she and I also had connected and therefore I would kept her dangling, which had the strange effect of offering me personally folk-heroine status. Kelly labeled as me personally a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I became one. It was like some form of film conceit where character is mistaken for a high profile and gets to drive in a limo and remain in a fancy resort due to it.”

This apparently totally worked out inside her favor, as she romped about in university starting up with lots of “aggressive kinds whom got down in the proven fact that I became reluctant to let a woman touch me personally.” Post-college, she moved on on the net, where she promoted this lady relaxed condition and frequently came across with ladies for NSA gender.

Close to the conclusion she problematically describes that whenever starting up with a lady she’s maybe not drawn to, she just closes her vision and envisions somebody else “while [the lesbian] really does her thing.” Sometimes it may seem like she wants ladies for eating the woman away even though they truly are allegedly much better at it than guys are. She

could

drop to them but “I’m not online dating them, and that I don’t think i might wish to have my fetish corrupted by looking after somebody adequate to hand back.”

I mightnot need to sit down near to Ariel on an aircraft, but her one-sided sexual experiences are consensual and she is only informing a genuine story of the woman life, so I’m certainly not positive things to label of this (and I’m interested to understand what you will be making of it, if such a thing).

After that, on Jezebel (via
The Favorable Men Project
) we now have
I Married a Lesbian (and that I’m some guy)
. The writer, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended receive crushes on the same sorts of woman: the star basketball member, the soccer ahead, the swimmer. Some had been lesbians. Some were not.” He wondered:

What is it that drew me so frequently to women who had been same-sex attracted? It surely was not the stereotypical male fantasy in what these were performing between the sheets, also it truly had nothing to do with a macho belief that i possibly could change a gay lady right.

In areas, the part (which really does tred on some stereotypical soil) reminded me of your quotation from

The Girls Next Door

,
which I cited in an article about female maleness
:

“…if we had to make another generalization about lesbian style, it will be that the majority of you tend to be powerfully keen on women, homosexual or straight, gorgeous or not, which seem as if capable take care of by themselves.”

The writer ultimately marries a lesbian exactly who presented as direct, in which he discovered their causing sex life becoming unsatisfactory. She would not give him strike jobs and don’t love entrance but cheerfully accepted their choices of cunnilingus. Whenever their particular sexless relationship finished in split up and a drug relapse (for him), he or she is relatively compassionate to their ex-wife’s challenge as opposed to marking the woman as misleading (as much of this commenters carry out):

She had come from a conventional family members that would were seriously embarrassed to possess a homosexual youngster. She may always have known, but performed her far better cover it, perhaps wanting that her feelings might alter. Or she may have been like more than a few women I’ve understood, and just discovered the woman real sexual identity after currently getting hitched to a man.

What is redeeming about this article if you ask me that the author’s conception of his very own sex is mostly without any the conventional male posturing any might anticipate in a piece such as this (the guy also makes reference to himself as “femmy”). Maybe it simply seems that way because men therefore hardly ever discuss wishing strong, sports, effective females with short-hair; but it’s refreshing nevertheless.

I do not fault Hugo or Ariel for informing their particular tales, but it’s really worth discussing that both narratives appear to ride throughout the concept that bed room behavior will be the ultimate/only litmus examination of sexuality. Hugo and Courtney enjoy each other’s business, but Hugo cites Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a “warning sign” the guy skipped, when penetration is actually scarcely an exclusively heterosexual work (this indicates much more likely Courtney dreaded the intimacy of penetration with a person she don’t wish become with, but really you never know) and dropping crazy, in the end, concerns the snatch but it is also about your cardiovascular system and it’s really typically about having enchanting thoughts. Those romantic thoughts are the thing that turns a hook-up union into a relationship, most likely.

Finally at

neurological.com

there is a nice tale directly from the pony’s lips —
My Personal Very First Time: Female. 17. San Francisco
. I do believe this is actually the very first time the “First Time” series has actually highlighted a lesbian.

Generally, in ninth grade, the writer confessed to her best friend that she had lesbian feelings on her, and her best friend reciprocated, plus they proceeded to continue a covert lesbian relationship and they are nevertheless collectively today and she actually is a grown-up into the army!

It seems they have yet to just take their unique commitment outside of the closet, in fact it is a bit puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: Turns out this story was created before DADT ended up being repealed, though it just got posted, consequently nothing is puzzling going on here. This is simply straight-up sweet in almost every method, unequivocally.]

The focus with the piece (basically very sweet and sweet) is on mcdougal’s discovery of
exactly what lesbian intercourse IS
:

We’d never ever been down on each other, and I also was confident that is what we’d meant when we mentioned we planned to have intercourse. (today I realize that there’s a lot more to fucking than licking a lady’s pussy and calling it each and every day.)

She concludes:

I know that the majority of folks differ as to what virginity methods to a gay woman, but virginity is completely subjective, therefore actually is based on the person you’re inquiring. Many people might say penetration needs to be included, but In my opinion it’s as much as the individual dropping his or her virginity. Easily feel I’ve missing my virginity, then goddammit, You will find!

I’ve spent a lot of the morning and afternoon looking at word press, racking your brains on just what point I could create about any of these pieces. I thought a great deal about why we’d never ever distribute “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” with this internet site but can’t see through the reason that I’d fear 50 people would vow never to come back here additionally the remaning many-thousands of you would combat with each other about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure through to the temperature loss of the world. We envisioned someone posting “I became a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to all of us via mail right after which We envisioned the article meeting in which we’d reach that story and all say “NO” as well.

In looking for a place to gleam from all of these tales, I made an effort to figure out what you might consider or say, and I also are unable to, and I wish to complete this blog post as soon as possible to improve the whole process of me personally finding-out what you believe about these tales. Yup, for the first time ever since beginning Autostraddle, i have had gotten no clue what you should state about something. So maybe I should merely ask you — what exactly is the response to these parts?